When we make a mistake, we all know that it is better to apologize. But there are enough cases where apologies are not necessary, and we continue to have a servile attitude toward those we have NOT wronged.
Many times, we apologize out of habit, as a reflex, and other times we have all sorts of wrong reasons to apologize. We say “Sorry!” or “Forgive me!” to feel in control or simply because we can’t stand someone getting mad at us. There is also the case when the person next to us asks us to apologize, and we fulfill his wish just to please him. Give up what you consider important and allow someone else to control you just so that no scandal arises. Plus, you’ll be getting rid of clutter you don’t need. between your teeth when you leave dishes unwashed in the sink and you have no intention of correcting your behavior, don’t you think?
When it is NOT appropriate to say “Forgive me!”
Apologies mean nothing if you change the way you misbehaved with someone, and if you apologize just to get rid of the consequences, you better not do it. Some people use excuses as a confession. If they show that they are sorry for something they did, they can get away with it. To know which category you fall into, you only need to know how you feel when you apologize – released from remorse or if nothing has changed for you?
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There are many who apologize out of fear. If you feel remorseful, maybe your life partner, parents, children, or friends will forgive you for what they think you did wrong, right? You are even willing to be blamed for something that is not clear to you that you did wrong just to avoid a scandal. Other situations when it is not appropriate to apologize are when you refuse someone and you have every right to do so, when you say “no” in a situation that does not suit you, when you fulfill your wishes or when you love someone and, of course, one reason or another, it shouldn’t. It doesn’t matter how you feel or what your priorities are, you don’t have to apologize because you need more time for yourself or because you ended a relationship that was toxic to you. Just as good,
When there are necessary excuses
On the other hand, some sincere apologies, given when appropriate, are good for both you and the person you are addressing. And when are the excuses welcome? When you break some social rules, like queuing up or even breaking the law. It is always preferable for the offended person or the person you hurt, in one way or another, to know that it was not his fault, but yours. Moreover, excuses can save marriages, they can resolve conflicts, they can make people talk to each other again, to imagine another chance for their relationship. When you say you’re sorry, you’re actually telling those around you that you’re not proud of what you’ve done and that you’re not going to repeat the mistake. In addition, you show yourself to the world as you are – with good and bad and willing to change, to recognize your weaknesses.
